Chart Readings #94
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Love,
The Astro Poets
Question #1
Hi Poets,
I'm such a fan of your work; I really do treasure every newsletter.
I hope this chart reading question isn't too different from what you
normally do, but I read your Cap sun and Sag moon essay and—wow did it
throw me for a loop.
I'm a woman in my 40s; I wrote/edited in traditional print media
during the '00s, but largely washed out because the industry was so
depressing, and I was married to a Tech Husband (Taurus, bless him)
whose fortunes were rising. (I grew up in a financially unstable
household, so prioritizing his sure-thing tech job meant we are now
low-key rich, something I never thought I'd be—and let me not downplay
that: It's great to have the money part of my life feel sorted.)
But—! But. I'm filled with so much ennui and sadness about how my life
has turned out. I have a couple kids who I love dearly and do all the
stay-at-home, school volunteering stuff (I secretly hate the
mom-social part of it, it's all so petty and low-stakes; I would
rather die than be the PTA president; every year people try to get me
to apply to be an officeholder in the PTA, I always say no; the idea
of the biweekly meetings makes me want to fling myself out of window).
I didn't write a novel. I'm not a leader. I didn't do anything great.
I didn't do anything. I'm, like, writing fanfiction now? Having a
creative outlet—even a silly one—is nice, but it's also so
humiliating, especially when a more successful friend asks me why I
don't "just get an agent." Well ... because I'm writing fanfiction,
babe.
I try to meditate and focus on the present and live in the moment
(which is usually nice! the present! Can't complain!) but I feel like
I have this roving ambition that I use only to charm people one at a
time by being their smartest and funniest text friend (I don't make a
necessarily great first impression, but people who get to know me
really, really like me), and I'm just going nowhere.
Part of this is patriarchy and What Happens To Women As They Age, but
... how do I live like this? How do I reconcile the me I recognized in
the way you describe Cap sun/Sag moon—the me who has nowhere to go,
who is pacing around restless and discontent?
I think it's the Cap in me who even rereads this question and is like,
"wow, what a narcissistic whiner," but I'm going to send it anyway.
Thanks for all that you do!
Sun: Capricorn
Moon: Sagittarius
Rising: Aries
Mars: Capricorn
Mercury: Sagittarius
Venus: Scorpio
Mars: Capricorn
Dear Capricorn,
Oh honey. It is never too late. Especially when it feels too late—that’s just us repeating some old narrative so we can put off being brave again.
Write that novel. Start as soon as you finish the response to that question. Start with one sentence. Then write the second. All you have to do is write one true sentence. The table is brown. Next. What comes after that. (I mean, you’ll also rewrite that true sentence several times so it’s a beautiful first sentence, of course. But just start with what is true and what is real.)
There’s nothing wrong with how you have done things. Getting the money part sorted. Having kids. You’ve accomplished a lot. Be proud of that. You’re a Capricorn. Of course you got the practical stuff out of the way. And now that Sagittarius moon is calling on you to remember your dreams.
It is never too late until you are in a coffin. And we all will be. But is that right now? You know it’s not. You’re reading this sentence.
People start at 6 years old and they also start at 60 years old. There are so many tangents and detours along the way. It doesn’t matter if you started young or older. Sometimes the tangents take you away from something. Sometimes you need them. Because they take you to something too.
You are full of fire. Aries rising. Sagittarius moon. You are not going to quit or be discouraged. Sure you may wallow. But everyone does. Head up.
Make a list of 3 creative things you want to do. Rank them. Which one do you want to do most. Which is most manageable. Which is most difficult. Where does your heart go in the middle of the day?
None of us will have the luxury of time when we’re dead. Until then — it doesn’t matter what you have done so for or haven’t — you’re like all of us. With 24 hours in a day.
Let yourself want something more. You can absolutely achieve it. And if you fail? So what. You went for it.